


Impossible Decisions

by csichick_2



Series: Big Damn AU [1]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Alternate Universe, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-11-14
Updated: 2013-11-14
Packaged: 2018-02-13 03:36:23
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,151
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2135592
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/csichick_2/pseuds/csichick_2
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>As his seventeenth birthday approaches, Lucius has to make some difficult decisions.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Impossible Decisions

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the 2013 Lucius Big Bang

Most young wizards look forward to their seventeenth birthdays. Lucius Malfoy, on the other hand, was dreading it. He knew that as a legal adult he would be expected pledge his allegiance to Lord Voldemort and take his mark. Even though it was the last thing he wanted to do, he knew he didn't have a choice, because his father would kill him as soon as he provided a heir. Lucius liked being alive, but even more than that, he didn’t want his future children being raised in same manner Abraxas raised him.  
  
It isn’t as though Lucius disagrees with Voldemort’s views, at least not completely. He however, doesn’t agree with all of Voldemort’s methods, nor does he think a half-blood is an appropriate person to be championing for pureblood supremacy. Voldemort thinks he has this dirty little secret well hidden, but Lucius has done his homework. He know that the Dark Lord is one Tom Riddle Jr., halfblood with a Muggle father. A fact he plans to keep to himself should it become necessary for his continued survival.  
  
Luckily, he can count on Narcissa’s discretion to help keep the secret that he is simply going through the motions instead of being a loyal follower. The House of Black isn’t overtly aligned with The Dark Lord, but as one of the oldest families in Wizarding Britain, it also doesn’t need to be. Bellatrix is fanatical about following Voldemort, which worried Lucius at first, but that was before Narcissa tearfully admitted to remaining in contact with her disowned sister Andromeda. While not thrilled that her sister eloped with Muggle-born wizard, she understands the logic of marrying someone that isn’t a close blood relative. There’s also no denying that Andromeda and Ted’s newborn daughter, as a metamorphagus, is a powerful witch, making her more Black than Tonks in both Lucius and Narcissa’s books. Also, from what Lucius remembers of Ted Tonks, though honestly he never paid the Hufflepuff much attention, he was more interested in learning about the traditions of the wizarding world, rather than trying to change them. That bodes well for naming their child Nymphadora being the worst parenting mistake they ever make.  
  
Of course none of that matters if either Lucius or Narcissa’s lack of absolute loyalty comes into play.  
  
*****  
  
The actual night of Lucius’s birthday ended up being the Tuesday prior a Hogsmede weekend, which was both a blessing and a curse. A blessing because he was able to spend the night with Narcissa in the Astronomy Tower, but also a curse because it meant that in less than a week he would be forced to take a mark he doesn’t want.  
  
“You know most people don’t actually stargaze when they’re in the Astronomy Tower at night,” Narcissa says, resting her head on Lucius’s shoulder.  
  
“I respect you far too much to get intimate with you in a place like this,” Lucius scoffs. “Gryffindors have had sex here.”  
  
Narcissa giggles. “And here I thought you were going to complain about Hufflepuffs.”  
  
Lucius snorts. “I’m pretty sure your brother-in-law was the only Hufflepuff to get any action while still at Hogwarts.”  
  
“If she hadn’t already been disowned for marrying Ted, she would have been when our parents realized she was already pregnant when they eloped.”  
  
“I’m pretty sure even blood traitors like the Weasleys would find that scandalous,” Lucius mutters.  
  
Narcissa raises an eyebrow. “You know there are other blood traitors besides the Weasleys yet you always single them out. Last I checked, it was my relative that married into their family tree not yours.”  
  
“Two relatives,” Lucius corrects.  
  
“Pardon?”  
  
“Arthur Weasley’s mother Cedrella is your grandfather’s cousin and Arthur’s wife Molly was a Prewett. Molly’s uncle married your father’s cousin.”  
  
“Molly isn’t a direct blood relative though. And that still doesn’t understand why you seem to hate them more than any other blood traitor family. They’re still purebloods, unlike most of the rest of them.”  
  
Lucius snorts. “Only Septimus, his children, and grandchildren. Almost all the rest are half-bloods.”  
  
“Still doesn’t answer why you hate them more than the rest.”  
  
“Normally I love your persistence, but this is not one of those times,” Lucius complains.  
  
“I love you too, darling,” Narcissa replies with a smirk. “And you’re still deflecting.”  
  
“My great-great-great grandfather was supposed to marry a Weasley, but she ran off with a Muggle instead. It was embarrassing for both families.”  
  
“One of the Malfoy family secrets that is never to see the light of day?”  
  
“Why of course. Malfoys are nothing if not allergic to scandal. Merlin forbid anyone find out we almost joined our family with blood traitors.”  
  
“It’s not as though they were blood traitors until the marriage contract was broken,” Narcissa points out.  
  
“She’s far from the only one, so it still would have happened eventually. In my opinion, we should be thanking her for keeping us from being forever linked to a blood traitor family.”  
  
Narcissa snorts. “So thank her, and hate the rest? Isn’t possible that Cedrella had more influence on her sons than Septimus?”  
  
“Maybe with the other two, but not with Arthur. He’s so fascinated with Muggles, people were surprised he didn’t marry one,” Lucius replies, rolling his eyes.  
  
Narcissa looks thoughtful for a moment. “Arthur and Molly’s sons will be at Hogwarts with Nymphadora. I do believe the younger one will be the same year.”  
  
“You’re planning something.”  
  
“For now, they might make good playmates for Nymphadora. As for when they’re older, if what you say about Arthur is true, those children aren’t going to learn much in the way of wizarding tradition.”  
  
“You can’t save them all, darling,” Lucius replies fondly.  
  
“I’m not trying to save them all. Just the ones that are family.”  
  
Lucius makes a face. “Just because Cedrella was a Black, doesn’t make them family.”  
  
Narcissa gives him a look. “Yes, it does, and you’ll know it. Young William and Charles might be a little further removed than Nymphadora on the family tree, but they’re no less deserving of proper guidance.”  
  
“Can’t they get that from their Uncles?” Lucius grumbles.  
  
Narcissa looks at him incredulously. “Fabian and Gideon? Please tell me you’re joking. Dumbledore says ‘jump’ and they say ‘how high?’ He’s ruining the Prewett family the same way he’s going to ruin the Potter family.”  
  
“James Potter is doing a fine job of ruining the family name all on his own, Dumbledore is just accelerating the process,” Lucius scoffs. “You’re probably right about Gideon, but I’m not so sure about Fabian.”  
  
Narcissa raises an eyebrow. “Did you just give a Gryffindor a backhanded compliment?”  
  
Lucius shrugs. “I suppose I did. Fabian at least seemed to care about tradition. Gideon didn’t seem to care about much of anything.”  
  
“You mean besides his pranks? Even if Fabian does care about tradition, I don’t think we can count on him to pass that knowledge on. If those boys are going to get a proper education, its going to have to come from the Black branch of the family.”  
  
“Andromeda’s already making sure they’re going to be friends with Nymphadora, isn’t she?” Lucius asks, resigned to having to spend time with children from a family he doesn’t like.  
  
Narcissa grins slyly. “Why of course. She may have married a Hufflepuff, but she’s still just as Slytherin as you and me.”  
  
Lucius shakes his head. “Merlin help us all.”  
  
******  
  
When the day came, Lucius was surprised to see Abraxas waiting for him outside the Hogwarts gates. On the one hand, Narcissa won’t have to make excuses for him should anyone notice he’s missing, but on the other hand, this could cause him to receive extra scrutiny from Dumbledore. As far as the Dark Lord knows, the headmaster is still unaware of the mark his gives his followers, but Lucius doesn’t really want to find out the hard way should Voldemort be wrong.  
  
Luckily, when he returned to the school, he was able to get into the Slytherin Common Room without being stopped by Dumbledore. As expected, Narcissa was waiting for him. Unfortunately, Regulus and Severus were waiting with her. He likes both boys well enough, and they both look up to him, but they’re the last people he wants to talk to right now.  
  
Lucius knows he can trust Narcissa to keep his secrets, but he can’t say the same of the other two, which means their presence is forcing him to glorifying a mark he wants no part of. Thankfully, he’s able to beg off without sharing too many details, claiming the entire process was exhausting. Which it was, just not in the way he lets them think.  
  
*****  
  
It’s not until late in the week that Lucius and Narcissa have time to slip up to the Astronomy Tower, one of the few places in the school they can speak freely. “I got an owl from Andromeda - she says that Nymphadora and young Charles Weasley get along fabulously. Though considering they’re babies, I have no idea how she can be so sure.”  
  
Lucius snorts. “Your plan is working, isn’t that the important part?”  
  
“So far it appears to be, but it’s still early. Dromeda says that Molly is pregnant again.”  
  
“Have those people never heard of contraceptive potions? Arthur may work for the Ministry, but he’s still pretty low level. He’s not made of money and neither is the rest of that family.”  
  
“At least their children will never be lacking for love,” Narcissa says, absently.  
  
“Your sister didn’t elope with Ted because she didn’t feel loved,” Lucius replies.  
  
“I know. But Sirius...”  
  
“Sirius made his own decisions,” Lucius says matter of factly. “Regulus didn’t rebel.”  
  
Narcissa gives him a look. “Maybe if Aunt Walburga weren’t such a miserable harpy, Sirius would have kept his opinions to himself. The way you are.”  
  
“That’s not fair,” Lucius protests. “Not agreeing with the Dark Lord’s methods is not the same as his Muggle obsession.”  
  
“That may be true, but he chose to anger his parents, while you chose to keep the peace,” Narcissa points out.  
  
“Your aunt may be a miserable harpy, but she simply blasts people off the family tree. My father is a bit more deadly in his methods.”  
  
Narcissa’s eyes widen. “I had no idea. Should we be worried?”  
  
Lucius shakes his head. “I’m far better at Occlumency than he or the Dark Lord is at Legilimency. Even if my father did suspect something, he wouldn’t do anything until until I ensured the continuation of the Malfoy name.”  
  
“So if he finds you out, we just need to have daughters and we’re good? That’s not very reassuring.”  
  
“He won’t find out darling, so stop fretting,” Lucius says, trying to reassure her.  
  
“That would be a lot easier if I still thought you would simply get disowned. Knowing that you might get killed... Merlin, what if he finds out that I’m in contact with Dromeda?”  
  
“You and Andromeda are careful and my father isn’t nearly as smart as he thinks he is. If your aunt hasn’t figured it out by now, my father isn’t going to either.”  
  
Narcissa sighs. “There’s still the fact that you’re not fully on board with the plans of the man who’s mark you now bear.”  
  
“Don’t remind me,” Lucius grumbles. “Luckily, I won’t be expected do much while still in school, but I only have that safety net for another year and a half.”  
  
Narcissa gets a thoughtful expression. “I may have an idea, but I need to check on things first.”  
  
“Channeling your Ravenclaw side again, darling?”  
  
Narcissa lightly punches him on the arm. “Would you rather have a brainless bimbo?”  
  
“Never. I love you just the way you are.”  
  
*****  
  
As the weeks pass, Narcissa doesn’t mention her idea again, and Lucius assumes that it didn’t pan out and lets it slip his mind. A few days before the next Hogsmede weekend, he’s reminded as to why he should never underestimate her.  
  
They were too busy to make their way to the Astronomy Tower, so Narcissa had to take the risk of slipping him a note.  
  
Lucius has read it over and over again, but he’s still not sure what he wants to do. A school friend of Andromeda’s has become an Auror and he feels that having an informant among Lord Voldemort’s ranks would be useful, especially if things progress to a war, which at this point is seen as a matter of when, as opposed to if. Lucius finds himself seriously considering the offer to become a spy, even though he knows if he gets caught, his death will be slow and painful.  
  
By the time that he and Narcissa next have time to slip up to the Astronomy Tower, Lucius has made his decision. He knows that if he’s going to successfully spy on Lord Voldemort for the Aurors, there is no way he can do it without her help.


End file.
